Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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