Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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