This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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