i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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