My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
