apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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