I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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