There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize