I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize