Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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