He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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