I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
