Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
