Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
