can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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