Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

isnt it creepy that our bodies make people

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(315): View more from New York

im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.

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(660): View more from Missouri

Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag

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(618): View more from Illinois

apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking

(404): View more from Georgia

Lol you talk like you have a choice

(770): View more from Georgia

I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over

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