Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
A bitchslap is in order.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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