you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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