I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
