Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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