my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
