i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
