She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
