I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
