At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
