She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
