We won't sleep together?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
