my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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