That's intense
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize