is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
