Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
