If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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