I love black thongs
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
