who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
