We're like a lot better than the average bears
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
