he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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