He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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