it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
