You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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