it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
