I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize