Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
