wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This is my gift to your gina
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
