Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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