Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My penis needs a shock collar
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize