I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
