This is not my ceiling
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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