ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We are two peas in an std pod
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
