I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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