I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
