my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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