You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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