He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
