k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
