Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
