Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
