worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
