Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize