got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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