I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
